Wizard and I have frequently talked about instilling Islamic values in our daughter and agree on most things except one: Hijab. I think Monster should wait till she's 16-17 years old to even consider covering up and personally, if she decides not to it wouldn't be an issue with me if she at least agrees on staying true to other qualities of hijab apart from covering the head.
That is the age when I took up the hijab and I'll admit, peer conformity may have played some role. Even at that age however, I made the conscious decision that if I'm going to adapt someone else's way of life, I'll make sure it's something better than what I'm used to. Every day with the hijab, I was aware that I had definitely traded up.
I can only hope, Monster makes those kind of friends at that ripe age who make her want to be better than she is...and not just socially but religiously as well. After all is said and done, it's the trust in HereAfter that will carry her through many a heartaches, let downs, and disappointments. If there is one thing I can leave my children with, is the knowledge and hope, that this life is only temporary and not half as important than the life that will begin at the end of this world.
There is a saying in Persian that goes Avval qawaish, baad dervesh. Practice begins at home. Tonight as I set the table, Wizard joined us late at the table because he was praying. Monster wanted to "pray" (her version of whispering into her little jaa-e-namaaz and kissing it for sajjdah) as well, so I promised her she can pray with me after dinner. She confirmed from me several times that I will pray too and settled into dinner.
After dinner, I made wud'u and she picked out a scarf for me to wear, then continued to dig for a scarf for herself. She told me to tuck it "under chin" and stood patiently while I wrapped the longish scarf around her. Then she told me the magic words.
"I look pretty!"
Sniff, yes you do my little heart!
Bonus funny:
After praying, she asked me to stuff one baby doll down her shirt and the other one to be wrapped on her back. I'm raising the next generation of Muslim Attached Parents:
Mashallah she looks so cute. My girls love wearing hijab and often play dress up with my scarves :)
ReplyDeleteaw very touchy topic.. but I totally agree with you.. Secil
ReplyDeleteAyesha, this is so moving, and it is so amazing to read Ur experience as a Muslim Mother; Indeed "Practice begins at home."
ReplyDeleteThank you Steph, Secil and Marta =) Glad you guys stopped by.
ReplyDeleteHi, I just came across your blog.
ReplyDeleteI wear a hijab and I want my daughter to wear it too. I don't think I will let her choose of when exactly she will wear it, but let her know about it and introduce it to her when the time comes for her to wear it.
If your daughter wants to wear it, by all means let her do so. If she decides to wear it at 10, it means that she is seeing you as an example- you get a lot of hasanat for that insh'Allah. So, I wouldn't rule it out until she is 17 just yet...kids surprise us these days.
M
I just saw your comment :) thank you. I suppose I wasn't aware of this possibility until my daughter started copying me. I'll be a lucky person if I can become a good example for her to follow instead of peers and media. I'll do my best in fact!
ReplyDelete